I go to beach with Susan(my colleague)

I feel very happy and comfortable..

I miss beach so much..

Make me forget everything and free..

I had very long time din't go beach..

Both of us like a crazy girl.. haha..

I wish i can go beach always.... :)

..Believe or not believe??..

When i choose to believe that Charles is true on me
But someone tell me that he is just a lier..
Make my heart hurt and broken..
I start to think is that he is true or he just cheat?
I heard one of my friend said
His colleague also facing the same story with me..
I should believe her or not?
Accually i hate her so much..
She always say something that not true to me..
She told me many things
But after i found out the answer
I just know she just telling me lie..
So i should believe who?
But until now charles still not yet pay the payment..
The parcel still retained in Dubai..
I really very confuse now..
WHy? why? WHY?
Why everything seem not very good luck on me?
I just wish can meet one guy that really love me and care me
I also wish can get married soon..
Since my age is getting older..
But now i facing the problem like that?
So i still need to choose believe charles?
OR i can't believe him?
Did charles same like other guy that just a lier?
I wish he is not.....
Who can give me answer?
Now i just can wait see his parcel really come or not?
AND i also wish to wait he really will come kuching or not?
I hope everything will become true..
May God bless me..

..leave or stay??

This morning I think many things..
In my mind.. I just wish to find one nice bf..
I wish my bf always beside me..
I wish he can with me when i face problem..
I wish he can give me full of love and concern..
But "he" can't do that..
I really hate him always broke the promise on me..
I also hate him treat me so bad this recently..
I know he is married man..
I know his family is more important than me..
But i just need his concern and love only..
Is that i wrong too?
Because his attitude like that..
I have the strong feeling that i want to leave..
Maybe not right now..
But i don't know when is the time..
This recently i close with Charles..
I thought he like other guy just joke with me..
But he use his action to tell me he is true on me..
He promise to send the gift for me..
I treat he just joke on me..
Until I get his email about the receipt and invoice..
I really very surprise on that..
He send me white gold diamond wedding ring,
necklace, earring and laptop...
I really surprise on it..
I wish he really is a true heart on me..
If he is true heart then i will leave here everything and follow him..
I wish everything will be fine on him and me..
I hope this time not a joke..

..wedding..

This few days i think manything..
He hurt me very much and always choose to leave me alone..
After last week i went back to my hometown..
He let me feel that i'm strongly fee want to leave him..
In between this recently..
Charles treat me very nice and very concern me..
He said he will send me the gift for valentine gift..
I thought he is just joke only..
But today i get his email..
He really send me the gift and he email me the receipt..
I found that he send me..
Diamond white gold wedding gold, necklace, earrings..
He said he want me to marriage him and
He wish to let me know tat he is true love on me..
I just feel that, if he really true heart on me..
I will choose to follow him and marriage him..
I really wish to leave here..
Especially want to leave he..
So i also don't know what to do?
I just know i want to leave him and here..
I wish to build out my own home with my lover..

..sad.. hurt..

Today really too many bad thing happen on me..
My hp lost.. my flight had been delay to very late..
Why this all happen on me??? Why???
I ask him bring me go to buy something since my fligh delay..
But he reject me.. he just care his family..
Why he so unfair on me?
Why he can always left me alone?
Why?????????????????????????
I don't know what to do now????
He really make me feel that very strong want to leave him..
I really don't want this kind of relationship any more..
We have no future..
I just wish he can concern me more..
But he never.. he just know to leave me alone to work and work..
Why this world so unfair on me????
I hate him.. I really hate him very much....
I know he is married man..
But he promise me that he will love me and care me..
But now, always leave me aside and ignore me..
I just have a small request only, he also can't do for me..
That really hurt me..
Wish i really can put down this relationship..
Wish myself have the brave to leave him..
Wish myself really can put down the love on him..
Even i know it will be very sad...
But the time can prove it..
The time can help me recover from the sad..

..sad...

I feel very sad.. I also feel very angry..
I had lost my mobile phone..
I really don't know why last night I'm so careless..
I really feel sad becaues that i lost my two phones..
But what to do? It had happen..
Even compalining now, blaming now, that useless too..
Just I really feel very sad..
I really can't understand why??
Why this recently the bad luck always follow me..
Wish after this happening, everything will be fine..
Everything that belong to me..
I have feeling on them.. Even the are non-living things..
I also hope that after the happening..
There are someone give me concern..
But most of the people just blaming me..
is myself careless.. my own false..
Make my heart more hurt and pain..
Wish myself after wrote..
Don't think any more..
Even sad, the life still need going on..
Wish good luck to myself..